LOVE AND ADDICTION
CAN BE EMOTIONAL
Dealing with a loved one in addiction or, hopefully, in recovery can be exhausting, nerve-wracking, frightening, and potentially destructive to any relationship. Emotions can fly at us from all directions and with little notice. They can be very unhealthy, particularly for those trying desperately to provide support for a struggling friend, family member or lover. Keeping emotions in check is hard work, but also necessary for all involved. There are three emotions in particular that can run a relationship off the recovery rails if not tended to with care. We’ll tackle one for each of the next three weeks. First:
ANGER.
This is normal. Not feeling some anger might actually NOT be normal. Either way, anger can be toxic. We’re angry at our struggling loved one, ourselves, the situation, and the whole rest of the world. We want to figure out who’s at fault and confront them. Anger can rise up through frustration, hurt, annoyance and disappointment. More trouble comes when we vent and lash out and allow ourselves to lose control. This can be so destructive. The good news about anger is it can become a motivation for us to improve our situation by claiming our personal boundaries and beliefs.
DEALING WITH IT.
Let it all out! Scream, throw something, yell. But find some privacy and no harming yourself or others. This may sound simplistic, but there is some physical release here that can open up that bottle of anger a bit. Deep breathing from your diaphragm with some soft self-talk like “take it easy” or “relax” might do wonders. Do everything you can not to get to the point of outburst or rage which is stressful to both your body and mind. Expressing anger is always better than keeping it in, but there’s a right way to do it. Try to express yourself clearly and calmly. And there’s one more thing we might often forget; humor. In keeping with the positive self-talk, how about laughing at ourselves? Sometimes we take things just a little too seriously. Have a laugh!
Next week, a look at another dangerous emotion for loved ones of addicts; grief.
From your friends at www.commonbondrehabcenter.com and www.just4usgirls.net Santa Clarita, CA.